Power of Stillness

The power of stillness!

The month of March brings the promise of spring and transformation.  You might be saying to yourself... Really?

The transformation of March into the splendor of spring pushes us to let go and shed our layers to embrace the changes for not only the seasons but for ourselves.  So often we hold on so tightly to how things are now in fear of moving forward to avoid hurt.  (Especially during fertility treatments)

How can you balance the power of this transformational energy while dealing with disappointment, heartbreak and uncertainty? 

One strategy is through the power of stillness, through being in nature and connecting to the amazing energy of creation.

For me personally, after the loss of our first pregnancy, I hid inside of our house alone with my sorrow.  What helped me bring myself back was the simple act of being with the sadness, acknowledging it and sitting in the springtime's sunshine. 

The energy of the outside can change your heart.  So for this month, and since March is said to come in like a lion and go out like a lamb, I am assigning homework...

    ·    Be with yourself in silence for 10 minutes a day during March... Really, try it in the car... can you be quiet for 10 minutes? No cell phone or music playing?  Become curious about what thoughts come up and how you feel.

    ·    Second, be outside for 10 minutes just for you!  Bundle up for the lioness part of March and wear flip flops for the lamb of March.

These are two very simple and transformational exercises to help you connect and be in your unique inner power. 

Purification

Did you know that February was named after the Latin term februum, which means purification, via the purification ritual Februa held on February 15 in the old Roman calendar.
(Wikipedia)

You might be saying so what? 

The reason I open the February newsletter with the idea of purification is that February holds a great opportunity to take the time to shed the energies of the last few months, December & January and purify your mind, body and soul. 

I hear you!  You might be saying, "I have been eating correctly, taking my medication and doing all that needs to be done to create my heart's desire and now you want me to focus on purification?" 

Well, let's just say for this month's intention that you will hold the concept of divine timing and create a system to give all worry, anger or sadness in yourself to the Higher Power.

In your mind, when a negative or fearful thought arises, create a script such as asking yourself, "Is this thought helpful"?  If the inner response you get is a "NO", then add in another script, "All is well, I release this worry to the universe", or "I am surrounded by the divine white light".

This simple act of purification helps you to remember that you are enough and filling yourself up first helps you to easily love all.

Oh, one more strategy- a great laugh!  Check out this website that offers a Universal Laughter Room, choose your laugh, your color and your intention!   I picked green, unconditional love and the hard laugh.  For me, it felt so much lighter and joyful after a great laugh!

Universal Laughter Room 

Setting goals...with a twist!

Monday January 17th @ 6:30 pm, free to attend from the comfort of your own home. This month we will focus on goal setting with a twist. *RSVP to Kristen@cnyfertility.com.

All those who sign up for this tele-workshop will receive a

complimentary EveryDay Certainty CD as a gift from Dr. Rob.

If you had unlimited time, talent, money, and support...

Instead of starting out this new year all 'gang busters' with various resolutions, go easy on yourself and imagine what you would do if you had unlimited time, talent, money, and support from family and friends. Take a look at my January newsletter to refocus and remember what is important during the start of a new year!  May God bless you all in 2011.

Also in this month's newsletter:

Another one of my favorite things!

Helpful tele-workshops

Keeping Love Alive

Making Choices

Our dog is a Tibetan Terrier, I like to think that he shines some Tibetan energy each and every day into our home… the peace and solitude and quiet awareness that Tibetan monks exude somehow across the great earth are shared through this tiny being who brings unconditional joy and love.
Our little monk dog is named Indiana Jones Bingo Magnacca. I know, a lot of names for a little dog.  My son who turned 12 named him after the trilogy of movies, which are our family favorites.
My favorite part of all the movies is the scene with the Grail Knight.  The Grail Knight is weak in body but not in spirit or motivation. After seven hundred years of awaiting for his replacement, he still...read more at CNY Fertility.

Join me 

Monday, December 20th at 6:30pm 

to discuss “Making Choices” about fertility issues, balancing the holiday festivities and life.

Our special guest will be Joanne Verkuilen the founder and co-ceo of Circle + Bloom. 

Joanne will facilitate a short meditation at the end of the hour.
Also, getting into the spirit of the holidays we will be raffling a combination gift of the Love & Infertility CD and a Circle & Bloom CD!
To RSVP and register for the gift set please email Kristen@cnyfertility.com.  Feel free to email any questions or topics that you’d like to discuss prior to the tele-workshop.

Complimentary Coaching Tonight

Please join me this evening for a

Complimentary Tele-Coaching Session

6:30-7:30 pm EST

If you or anyone you know would be encouraged by a loving and understanding conversation about fertility challenges, please email info@kristenmagnacca.com for the number to call and join us today!

You're Invited to a State House Event

Thank You RESOLVE of New England!



Not all states, in fact only 15 including the Commonwealth of Massachusetts have legislation in place so that Infertility-related health care costs are covered by insurance.

Why? Because RESOLVE of New England was the gatekeeper for this reform and former Gov. Dukakis among others, signed the original mandate into law. Now we need to keep it that way...

So PLEASE join RESOLVE of New England on 
Wednesday, December 15, 2010, 2:00 - 3:00 p.m. at the State House 
and help us honor the legislators who we consider to be "Champions For Infertility Legislation."

It is important we have presence since the new Health Care law says each mandate will be reviewed to determine their value and cost to the Commonwealth. The more people at the event, the more the legislators will remember that this is a mandate needed and supported by constituents.
Click Here For More

See you there!
Or, send me a note at info@kristenmagnacca.com with your opinion and I will represent your presence.

The Balance of Giving and Receiving

"Abundance is not something we acquire.  It is something we tune into."

Wayne Dyer

Learn how to "tune in"  when it feels like we've run dry.
Thanks to Fertility Authority for the article.

Season for Reflection . . .

The season of winter hosts the opportunity to sit with a warm cup of tea or coffee and reflect a bit. The image of a roaring fire and a wing back chair inviting you to remember what this year held for you, what you have learned about yourself and what beliefs have shifted or changed in order to create newness in you and your life.

The cycle of December brings an end to the year but also the promise of a new beginning through the New Year by the release of what might be heavy of heart, what might have hurt so badly that through the hurt you have become someone else.

We somehow believe that a release or a death of a belief is a bad thing, but in actuality it is a beginning bringing forth freedom.

I would like you to give yourself the gift of 'releasing what you no longer need' and in that newly open space give yourself permission to create anew. Let your heart's desire sing with joy from yourself. Simply asking what do you intend for yourself? Begin thinking about creating your new "Dream's List" and open yourself to the spirit behind this beautiful season.

What is your heart's Desire? What do you expect from yourself? What do you expect from your life?

Answer from a place of unwavering faith!

The Big Holiday Giveaway!

I am excited to partner with Circle+Bloom this year for a fantastic giveaway.  Circle+Bloom provides listening programs that have been developed based on using relaxation and guided visualization to help you be proactive, reduce the effects of stress, and feel better about where you are on your family building journey.  Their programs are simple, convenient, and recommended by reproductive specialists around the country.

In this giveaway you can win a coaching session with me (valued at $125), and the Circle+Bloom Energy for Empowerment Program.  With these tools in your toolbox you will be unstoppable as you continue on your fertility journey, no matter what stage you're currently in.

There are 2 ways to be eligible to win:

1) With any purchase of one of my books or CD's or any of Circle+Bloom's programs between now and December 10.
OR
2) Fill out the no purchase necessary form on their website.

One entry per person - the winner will be drawn on December 10 and notified by email.  Good luck!

Celebrate the Simple Pleasures this Season!

When I was growing up, it seemed we had a "Charlie Brown" Christmas tree each and every year. We always chose the tree that looked like it had been...continue reading my latest article on Cape Women Online.

Holiday Survival Tips!

Time seems to be flying by more quickly these days, doesn’t it?  And when you’re trying to create your family through fertility treatments, time always seems to be an issue.  I remember the anxiety produced as each month ticked by at lightning speed.  Then add the stressors of the holiday season: shopping, preparations, the family and social gatherings, and it might feel as though time is our keeper.

I remember crying while looking at December’s calendar as we began an IUI cycle and realizing that I would be in the middle of it right around Christmas and New Year's.  In hindsight I wish I had taken the holiday off. But that is looking back on our situation from an 11-year distance. When you’re “in the heat of battle,” that option might not sound, feel or seem correct for you.  But I’d like to offer my armchair opinion about holding off on a cycle during the holiday season…if at all possible.

If you decide moving full speed ahead is what’s best for you, then here are some tried and true strategies that can help you bring balance and joyfulness into the season, regardless if you are in a cycle or taking a break.

Social Gatherings and Parties

Here’s a strategy that changes the event from potential failure to a winner. 

Break down the event into parts.  Decide which parties you are capable of attending.  Perhaps you are in a position where you “must attend” and are feeling the pressure.  Commit to yourself and/or your partner that you will attend the cocktail portion and then make a discrete exit.  Stay longer if you are up to it.  But if you feel you’ve fulfilled your goal, then leave acknowledging “another job was well done!” 

Create an elevator speech.  An elevator speech is a rehearsed and well-delivered speech at the ready to answer those annoying questions such as: “Do you have children?” “When are you going to have children?” and the dreaded, “Isn’t it time for you both to start having children?”

My tried and true elevator speech was “We have a whole team of experts working on that.”

Remember to use the Every Day Certainty combination by committing to the follow each and every day:

Gratitude:  Writing down ten things you are grateful for each day and using this as your mantra if those negative thoughts start to creep in.

Nurturing Item:  Finding one special thing you can do each and every day to uplift your spirit.  Perhaps it’s a hot cup of tea, a long shower or walk, or maybe a secret indulgence of a candy.

Daily Intention:  A daily intention is a mini-goal for the day.  Setting your intention to be open to all possibilities or perhaps finding the joy in communication exchanges.  What can you intend to look for and give out during the day that will help others and yourself?  After all, this season is more about giving than receiving. 

And remember, the holiday season will soon pass. But if you can use these strategies to enjoy it as much as possible, you will find yourself feeling stronger as you start a new year.

~ ALSO ~

Don't miss my special Holiday Survival Coaching Group on

December 9, 2010

6:30-8:30 pm

Join the sisterhood of understanding and make these holidays a joyful season!

Thankfulness? Really??

Many thanks to CNY Fertility for sharing my tips on how to shift our thinking!

This Monday, Nov 15, CNY will sponsor my complimentary tele-workshop. I will be discussing powerful, practical ways to combine gratitude and chillaxation! This is not to be confused with a "just relax and get pregnant" approach. I would love for you to cozy up in your favorite spot of the house and join our phone workshop - just email me at kristen@cnyfertility.com for the dial-in number!

The Attitude of Gratitude:
I spoke to a client the other day and was preaching the good word about cultivating an attitude of gratitude to shift the energy around her fertility journey and she looked me straight in the eyes and responded with “blah, blah, blah”.

Perhaps you are feeling similar to this wonderful client of mine, the concept of cultivating gratitude has been shared before and sounds all well and good to you but today you might not be feeling it. You might be saying to yourself how can I have gratitude for….

• A treatment cycle that has abruptly been stopped?
• Another cycle that has resulted in a negative outcome?
• Or the emotional tiredness that you are feeling?

In my humble opinion, The Law of Gratitude is the most powerful of the spiritual laws. Holding gratitude even in the most dire situation, finding that one little speck to be grateful for, can shift and change your perspective and in turn change your situation.

Getting back to my “Blah, Blah, Blah” wonderful lady, here’s the tip I shared with her:

We’re all human, experiencing a human experience. We have positive experiences and not so positive experiences. If we cultivate the practice of finding the positive in the negative then the intensity of the negative will diminish.

So here’s the tip:
On those days that gratitude is a faint flicker of light, try to remember your toes and feet; that you have them and that they are holding you up, keeping you balanced and help you travel through your day, mostly unnoticed.

Give gratitude for your toes and feet that can carry the weight of your day’s burdens, taking steps that lead you to your joy, freedom and fun. If you feel adventurous try giving thanks for your body during the month of November, given that it holds Thanksgiving Day within the month.

Remember each and every part of your body that allows you to do all that you are doing to create your family… you could start at your toes and feet and work up! Acknowledge your knees, that bend for you onto your hips, and so on! Acknowledgment and gratitude are all part of cultivating an attitude of gratitude and begins with tiny steps!

Yoga is such an amazing tool to use to cultivate gratitude for your body and brings you into your body. I encourage you to check out the CNY Healing Arts schedule and try a class if you haven’t yet, or if you are a regular, include the concept of gratitude for your body during your practice of yoga.

Happy Thanksgiving Days!

“Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.”
~Brian Tracy

The Second Time Around!

How to deal with the difficulties of infertility, when they hit you again.

Signatures and Complimentary Copies!

Join me this Monday, Oct 25 if you are Denver, Colorado attending the American Society for Reproductive Medicine Annual Meeting! I'll be at the Village Fertility booth
signing books and giving complimentary copies of my New CD
to my visitors - come introduce yourself, I look forward to meeting you!

He Said, She Said . . .

"That's it. I'm calling the clinic right now!" he said.
"No, don't do that, I just needed to tell you what happened. I feel better now that I've vented," she said.
"What did you say?" he said.
"I said I feel better now. Phew, thanks," she said.
He looked like a deer caught in a headlight and walked away!

How do we reconcile these communication challenges in the midst of fertility difficulties that are already making life stressful? Read my strategy and let me know what you think!

Drugs or No Drugs?

How do you balance the inner chatter of taking fertility medication when you really don’t want to?

Last week during Dr. Rob’s sponsored complimentary tele-workshop our discussion turned to the inner turmoil about taking fertility drugs when in your “other” life you weren’t a “drug taker.”

There was an amazing lady on the call who shared that a grief counselor offered a mantra that “These drugs will help me be a mom,” to quiet that tiny voice debating the “Do I take the drugs or don’t I take the drugs?” question.

“What I know now that I wished I knew then” was to make the association back to the fact that when we’re in fertility treatments it is because we have a medical condition no different from diabetes…that if you were diagnosed with diabetes you would take insulin, correct? Well, during the time of this condition your body needs this injectable medication to create, sustain, and maintain a pregnancy.

One strategy for shifting the negative emotions around taking the fertility medication might be to call in gratitude for the medication, which is bringing you closer to being a mom. I remember being so upset with my “body” for not achieving pregnancy, all the while diminishing all my uterus’ work in creating a super lining and my ovaries for super ovulating. It was trying its best just like your mind and soul!

In a Gratitude List ~ which contains ten things you are grateful for each day ~ you might want to start off with expressing your thankfulness for your body, how it is working away, and also for the makers of the medication that is at work too.

FYI~ if you purchase your medication from a fertility pharmacy such as Village Fertility Pharmacy, not only do you get a knowledgeable resource, you also get 24/7 support from their team of nurses too!

“You have the ability to talk yourself in and out of anything!” Dr. Robert Kiltz

Special Event on Thursday!

Do you need time with a group of individuals who completely understand what you're going through? Join us for an encouraging and understanding time of discussion...this will be a very special Fall Fertility Coaching Group taking place in Sandwich, MA.

This Thursday, Sept 30, 2010

7:00pm EST

68 Tupper Road, Suite 5A, Sandwich, MA

Fee: $10

RSVP: info@kristenmagnacca.com

Check out the recording on Itunes!

The Surrogacy Lawyer, author and radio host Theresa Erickson invites you to join her for a lively discussion with Dr. Robert Kiltz of CNY Fertility and Kristen Magnacca, author of Love and Infertility, about retaining and nurturing patients. Attorney Erickson will discuss with our guests how in trying to help their patients have a baby, sometimes physicians and other providers focus so much on the clinical or procedural aspects of treatment that they neglect the emotional side of infertility and how they should be communicating with patients.

They forget that positive, caring words and actions count in addition to expert clinical care. As a result, some patients fail to continue with treatment and never achieve their cherished dream of building a family – at least not with that particular clinic or agency.

On Thursday, September 23 at 11 AM PST/2 PM EST, Surrogacy Lawyer, author and radio host Theresa Erickson will be interviewing them on The Surrogacy Lawyer: Your Guide to IVF and Third Party Family Building. “We are excited to bring in delighted to bring Dr. Robert Kiltz and Kristen Magnacca to our listeners to discuss their vision and experience with building a patient-centric fertility practice.” says Attorney Erickson.

Now Listen On ITunes!

Listen to the uplifting discussion here!

A Few Announcements!

First, I want to thank Rachel Gurevich for a great review of my book, Love & Infertility, on About.com. Check it out here!

We have several great articles and events coming your way this month:

I have a new article I'd like to encourage you with over at CNY Fertility, I hope you take a minute to read it. Also, be sure to set aside Mon, Sept. 20 6:30-7:30pm EST for a complimentary tele-workshop hosted by CNY, and presented by yours truly! We will focus on some valuable relaxation techniques, and you can call in from anywhere to join us. Hope to "see" you there!

The second Tuesday of every month is Tele-Tuesday. Plan to join us Sept. 14, 6:30-8:00pm EST, from within the comfort of your own home. Find out call-in details on my calendar page.

And of course, we have a special Fall Fertility Coaching Group this month on Sept. 22! I hope you'll be there!