Holiday Survival Tips!

Time seems to be flying by more quickly these days, doesn’t it?  And when you’re trying to create your family through fertility treatments, time always seems to be an issue.  I remember the anxiety produced as each month ticked by at lightning speed.  Then add the stressors of the holiday season: shopping, preparations, the family and social gatherings, and it might feel as though time is our keeper.

I remember crying while looking at December’s calendar as we began an IUI cycle and realizing that I would be in the middle of it right around Christmas and New Year's.  In hindsight I wish I had taken the holiday off. But that is looking back on our situation from an 11-year distance. When you’re “in the heat of battle,” that option might not sound, feel or seem correct for you.  But I’d like to offer my armchair opinion about holding off on a cycle during the holiday season…if at all possible.

If you decide moving full speed ahead is what’s best for you, then here are some tried and true strategies that can help you bring balance and joyfulness into the season, regardless if you are in a cycle or taking a break.

Social Gatherings and Parties

Here’s a strategy that changes the event from potential failure to a winner. 

Break down the event into parts.  Decide which parties you are capable of attending.  Perhaps you are in a position where you “must attend” and are feeling the pressure.  Commit to yourself and/or your partner that you will attend the cocktail portion and then make a discrete exit.  Stay longer if you are up to it.  But if you feel you’ve fulfilled your goal, then leave acknowledging “another job was well done!” 

Create an elevator speech.  An elevator speech is a rehearsed and well-delivered speech at the ready to answer those annoying questions such as: “Do you have children?” “When are you going to have children?” and the dreaded, “Isn’t it time for you both to start having children?”

My tried and true elevator speech was “We have a whole team of experts working on that.”

Remember to use the Every Day Certainty combination by committing to the follow each and every day:

Gratitude:  Writing down ten things you are grateful for each day and using this as your mantra if those negative thoughts start to creep in.

Nurturing Item:  Finding one special thing you can do each and every day to uplift your spirit.  Perhaps it’s a hot cup of tea, a long shower or walk, or maybe a secret indulgence of a candy.

Daily Intention:  A daily intention is a mini-goal for the day.  Setting your intention to be open to all possibilities or perhaps finding the joy in communication exchanges.  What can you intend to look for and give out during the day that will help others and yourself?  After all, this season is more about giving than receiving. 

And remember, the holiday season will soon pass. But if you can use these strategies to enjoy it as much as possible, you will find yourself feeling stronger as you start a new year.

~ ALSO ~

Don't miss my special Holiday Survival Coaching Group on

December 9, 2010

6:30-8:30 pm

Join the sisterhood of understanding and make these holidays a joyful season!

Thankfulness? Really??

Many thanks to CNY Fertility for sharing my tips on how to shift our thinking!

This Monday, Nov 15, CNY will sponsor my complimentary tele-workshop. I will be discussing powerful, practical ways to combine gratitude and chillaxation! This is not to be confused with a "just relax and get pregnant" approach. I would love for you to cozy up in your favorite spot of the house and join our phone workshop - just email me at kristen@cnyfertility.com for the dial-in number!

The Attitude of Gratitude:
I spoke to a client the other day and was preaching the good word about cultivating an attitude of gratitude to shift the energy around her fertility journey and she looked me straight in the eyes and responded with “blah, blah, blah”.

Perhaps you are feeling similar to this wonderful client of mine, the concept of cultivating gratitude has been shared before and sounds all well and good to you but today you might not be feeling it. You might be saying to yourself how can I have gratitude for….

• A treatment cycle that has abruptly been stopped?
• Another cycle that has resulted in a negative outcome?
• Or the emotional tiredness that you are feeling?

In my humble opinion, The Law of Gratitude is the most powerful of the spiritual laws. Holding gratitude even in the most dire situation, finding that one little speck to be grateful for, can shift and change your perspective and in turn change your situation.

Getting back to my “Blah, Blah, Blah” wonderful lady, here’s the tip I shared with her:

We’re all human, experiencing a human experience. We have positive experiences and not so positive experiences. If we cultivate the practice of finding the positive in the negative then the intensity of the negative will diminish.

So here’s the tip:
On those days that gratitude is a faint flicker of light, try to remember your toes and feet; that you have them and that they are holding you up, keeping you balanced and help you travel through your day, mostly unnoticed.

Give gratitude for your toes and feet that can carry the weight of your day’s burdens, taking steps that lead you to your joy, freedom and fun. If you feel adventurous try giving thanks for your body during the month of November, given that it holds Thanksgiving Day within the month.

Remember each and every part of your body that allows you to do all that you are doing to create your family… you could start at your toes and feet and work up! Acknowledge your knees, that bend for you onto your hips, and so on! Acknowledgment and gratitude are all part of cultivating an attitude of gratitude and begins with tiny steps!

Yoga is such an amazing tool to use to cultivate gratitude for your body and brings you into your body. I encourage you to check out the CNY Healing Arts schedule and try a class if you haven’t yet, or if you are a regular, include the concept of gratitude for your body during your practice of yoga.

Happy Thanksgiving Days!

“Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.”
~Brian Tracy

The Second Time Around!

How to deal with the difficulties of infertility, when they hit you again.